My friend Benny tagged me in a post on Facebook that contained this. So funny I just had to share!
01. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
02. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
03. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
04. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it is hard to pronounce.
05. I am really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
06. Ah. I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.
07. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
08. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
09. Does everyone visualize duct tape over your mouth so early into the conversation.
10. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about your being competent.
11. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
12. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
13. What am I? ...Flypaper for freaks?
14. And your cry baby, whiny butt opinion would be?
15. Do I LOOK like a people person?
16. I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.
17. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
18. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
19. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
20. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
21. Interesting perfume. Must you marinate in it?
22. God loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an asshole.
23. How about never? Is never good for you?
24. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
25. CHAOS, PANIC, & DISORDER - my work here is done.